Chapter Four: Chippendales

During one shift, I was standing in the alcohol aisle changing price tags when this fifty-something year old man walks by carrying a case of beer. He looks me up and down and says "Are you the only sweet young thang working at the front?" I answered that I was, and proceeded to follow him to the front counter. That's when he must have lost all sense of reality and believed he was at a Chippendale's audition. He swiftly lifted his hands above his head and shook his butt at me, doing a little dance. He turned around. And when he saw my shock, he said "Well, I tried." What reaction was he expecting from me?

Um, sir - VIP strip club is down the street. You're in a store.

Chapter Three: The Motorized Wheelchair

My brother is spending his last summer before grad school working at another store - a bigger store. One of the many roles he plays there is a greeter, meaning he welcomes people to store and gets the carts ready for customers. Another important role of the greeter is to fetch a motorized wheelchair for those in need. If the chair is at the opposite entrance of the customer, his job is to run to other end, climb in the chair and drive it back. During his first adventure riding one of these lovely contraptions, a co-worker stopped him and simply said "You know they pee in those right?" I wish I could have seen his face.

Needless to say, he did a load of laundry that night.

Public Motorized Wheelchair Consumers Beware: Bring your own lysol wipes.

Chapter Two: The Plague

I was busy stocking shelves when a guy about my age rushes in.

"Can you help me find something to put on this?" he asks, pointing to this giant rash on his neck.

With a disgusted face, I answered "Um, you should probably go ask the pharmacy...I wouldn't even begin to know what kind of creme to put on that."

"Oh no!" He interrupts. "I mean like makeup."

After seeing my very puzzled face, he continues. "See, yesterday was my birthday and when I passed out, these girls thought it would be funny to give me a hickey...I realize it looks more like a rash or something but it's not."

So I spent the next ten minutes rushing between the register and the makeup aisle matching his skin tone to foundations and concealers along the wall.

Chapter One: Romeo

My very first memorable strange customer was an older gentleman - quite old, in fact. He approached the counter and asked if he could return an item. I assured him he could as long as he hadn't opened the product and as long as he had the receipt. Both were true. He kept apologizing and I wasn't sure why. That's when he pulled out the "Ultra-ribbed condoms". And of course - the register would not allow me to refund the product alone. I had to call my manager to the front - making the process even longer. I just wanted to get this man out the door and on his way.

Also on the receipt from the returned condoms? A bottle of wine and a pack of cigarettes.

Looks like someone's night didn't go as planned.

Preface

So - as you may notice, I do not keep up with my blogs very well.. And this one may not work out any better...

I just graduated college with a degree in Media Communication with an emphasis on writing in television and film. News flash: So did a lot of other people. So I was stuck with finding another source of income while continuing my constant battle to beat others to a job opening.

What I (luckily) found was a job as a cashier at a large store chain (or however I can introduce that without giving up the name of the business). I soon realized that I came home almost every night with a funny or annoying or unbelievable story. Don't get me wrong - I am very grateful for the job. And I like most aspects of the business, but some of the things that happen there - well, you'll see...