Chapter Sixteen: The Six Types of Valentine Guys

In honor of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd share the six types of guys who participate in Valentine Day festivities/occasions (in no particular order). Now, I do realize that there are more than these six types, but I only had the privilege of encountering these few at work tonight. Some are funny. Some are sad. But all of these stories kept spinning through my mind all night, and I needed to write them down.

And I will start by saying, I feel a little bad. Valentine's Day has never been something my family put much emphasis on growing up. So I never realized how much people (specifically guys) spent on this day. And I noticed - there were very few women in the store compared to men. Sorry guys. Apparently, it's all your responsibility. All that to say...

1. The Head-over-Heels Guy - This guy is genuine. He is so excited about Valentine's Day. He absolutely adores his wife and couldn't be more excited to dote on her with singing stuffed animals.

EXHIBIT A: A man pretty much galloped to the counter where I stood. He set a card and a plush flower on the counter.

"Have you tried all these gadgets out?" he inquired, so very eagerly.

"Nope. I can't say I have."

Without any further notice, he pushed some button on this thing and it began to shake and sing some tune. He was ecstatic. He proceeded to tell me that he was a truck driver and was thrilled to have the night off to see his wife. He said he had enough time to go see her, and then he had to get back on the road. Precious. If only all the customers were this positive.

2. The Egotistical Teenage Guy - This guy was any kid who spent anywhere from fifty to a hundred dollars on stuffed animals and chocolate roses. He made me laugh a lot too.

EXHIBIT B: One guy in particular spent one hundred dollars in two different transactions. Best part? His shirt. It read "To: Women....From: God." Wow. I bet he bought that especially for today. How thoughtful.

3. The Make-up Guy - I saw the same look on many customers' faces today. The frantic eyes and worried smile.

EXHIBIT C: A guy loaded the countertop with plenty of roses, a few boxes of chocolates, two stuffed animals, and a card.

"This ought to keep me out of the doghouse, you think?"

I couldn't help but laugh. Poor guy.

4. The Traditional Guy - This guy doesn't really value Valentine's day, or maybe is too proud to admit he does. Valentine's Day is more of a tradition. It's what you do.

EXHIBIT D: A gruff-looking man approached the counter. He wore a mechanic's jumpsuit with the name Bob embroidered on it.

"This oughta be good enough for her to make me a good dinner," he mumbled as he threw a card down on the counter.

I suggested he make her dinner, and you would have thought I asked him to wear a dress the way he looked at me in disgust. What a lucky lady his wife is. I wonder how that dinner turned out.

5. The Grumpy Old Guy - He doesn't seem to care about his wife or Valentine's Day.

EXHIBIT E: An elderly lady approached the counter to buy a few bottles of vitamins. I asked how her day was going. And she completely opened up about her feelings.

"Well - I asked my husband if he was going to buy me a Valentine today."

She paused. I waited, eagerly hoping for another good story to add to my vault.

She continued. "And he just looked at me and said 'We've been married fifty some years. It's not Valentine anymore. It's Vomit Time.' And he got up and went into the garage to watch TV."

My eyes were wide. How do I wrap this up? What do I say to this woman? My jaw dropped and no words came out. I just stared.

"Well," she said. "I guess I should just be glad I'm breathing."

I have never in my life wanted to buy someone a Valentine so badly. I felt so terrible for her. I have been blessed with a great family. My brother, father, grandfather, and uncle have all be fantastic examples of stand-up guys. They've always been thoughtful, considerate, and kind. And it wasn't until this very story, that I realized how truly blessed I am to be supported by my family.

And in an attempt to end on a good note....

6. The Elderly Guy - This guy is by far my favorite. Along with Guy #1 (The Head Over Heels Guy), the Elderly Guy is completely enamored with his wife. He adores her. He makes sure she has everything she needs, and everything she wants. He makes sure she feels appreciated and loved, and knows his life is complete with her in it.

EXHIBIT F: {See Chapter Fifteen}

These stories, however strange or mundane, gave me some comedic relief in such a chaotic evening. And I am so thankful for the characters that come through the store on a regular basis. They make the hours pass a little faster, and they make cranky customers seem a fewer and far between. Thank you, characters of (insert Midwestern County name) County!

H a p p y V a l e n t i n e ' s D a y !